The funeral was beautiful. There were white and pink lilies everywhere — her mother’s favorite flower. Her favorite flower, too. Her mother lay in her coffin, the pale silk cradling her body, as she looked as beautiful as she always had. Her hair perfectly falling around her face and shoulders, her skin perfectly flawless except for its paleness. There were no signs of the accident that had claimed her life. The funeral home had done a wonderful job hiding the breaks and rends that the car accident had inflicted. The wounds that had claimed such a beautiful young woman. Or so she seemed. Only her family knew how old Niecia Matthews actually was. She’d lived a full life. Had two beautiful children who both spoke at the funeral. Mikhail talked about how his mother had shaped them into the people they were. How she guided them with a firm, but gentle hand after their father’s death, to be good and generous with every life they touched. But it was Meaghan’s eulogy that had everyone in the room crying silently into their handkerchiefs. “My mom was one of the most important people in my life. She was *the* most important person until I met Kyle. I remember when I was young, how she would come into my room at night before bed and kiss my forehead. ‘Sweet dreams, little princess,’ she would say before turning out the light. And then, when I had nightmares, how she would come into my room and curl up behind me in bed, staying with me to keep the monsters at bay until I was once again sound asleep and dreaming peacefully. As I grew older, and the monsters turned from imaginary to real, she was always there to help me pick up the pieces and put my life back together. After my car accident, she was with me through every step of recovery. She helped me learn to walk again, just as she had when I was a small child. Every step celebrated and every new achievement praised. My mama was there when I walked across the stage at graduation, and she was just as excited as I was about going off to Harvard for college. We talked almost every night my first semester there; about how hard it was, the friends I was making, the boys I was interested in. She always reminded me not to fall for the pretty ones unless they didn’t realize they were pretty.” She looked over at the coffin her mother lay in, and tears shimmered in her steel blue eyes. “Mama, I think you’d really like Kyle. You never got a chance to meet him, but he’s the most amazing man I’ve ever met. The prettiest, too, although he disagrees.” She could hear soft laughter from the congregation, and she was pretty sure she could hear Kyle blushing. “Everything Mikhail said was true. You taught us to be kind and generous, and I will hold those lessons close to my heart my whole life. I love you, and I already miss you more than I could ever express. But I know you’ll be with me forever, and when my children are born, I will raise them the way you raised me and Mikhail. To love with reckless abandon, to give everything we can, and to cherish the moments we have together, because we never know when they could be our last.” Meaghan sat down next to Kyle again, and his much larger hand found her smaller one, their fingers entwining as he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. The warmth of his fingers was reassuring to her as tear filled blue eyes looked up at him, and she offered a weak smile that was returned by her mate. The ceremony continued with her uncles taking their turns talking. And then, after the ceremony, it was off to the gravesite to lower her mother’s casket into the ground. Her uncles carried her mother’s coffin out to the waiting hearse. The doors were closed, and Meaghan felt her heart sink a little. Kyle lead her off to the waiting black limo that would follow the hearse to the cemetery. Mikhail was already waiting by the limo’s back door for them. She hugged her brother, tears streaming down her cheeks, as he returned the hug and whispered into her ear, “Mama would be so proud of you.” Then they got into the limo and drove the 10 miles to the cemetery where their family had been laid to rest for generations — since the homestead had been settled back in the 1700’s. The priest said a few more words once the casket was settled on the rigging that would lower it into the ground. Then Meaghan set a white lily and a white rose on her mother’s closed casket. Mikhail set a lily and rose of his own. Then the casket was slowly lowered into the ground. Meaghan felt like her heart was going into the ground, too. She could feel it sinking with every inch her mother was lowered down. Tears streamed down her cheeks, ruining her makeup and streaking mascara down her face, but she didn’t care. The only woman she had ever loved was being buried, and part of her was being buried, too. The priest dropped a handful of dirt onto the casket, “Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust.” Then the ceremony was over. People started to leave, but Meaghan couldn’t make herself get up. She just sat there, crying and staring into the hole in the ground where her mother lay. Closed in a box that would never open. After a long while, Kyle urged her up so that they could go home. She felt numb as she got to her feet and let him lead her back to the limo. Again, Mikhail was waiting for them. He didn’t hug her this time, and he didn’t say anything. He just placed a hand on her shoulder for a moment before she got into the vehicle. Now they would go back to the house for a shared meal with everyone who’d come to the funeral. People would tell stories and share their thoughts on how beautiful the service was. Meaghan didn’t know if she could handle it. One of the tentpoles of her life had just been ripped away from her, and her tent now teetered on just her and Kyle holding it up. But they would manage. Together they would manage. And she’d make her mama proud of her. ————————————— This was her third pregnancy. Although, anyone who’d known about the first was already dead. Niecia had been 17 when she got pregnant with her first child. A boy that she’d tried to keep. Her parents, however, were of the opinion that he would just hinder her chances of finding her mate. They refused to help her take care of the baby. Without any help, it was either drop out of school to raise him, or give him up for adoption. A month after his birth, Niecia put her son up for adoption so that she could finish school and find her mate. It was one of the hardest things she’d ever done, but she knew there was a bright future for both of them. He would be raised by a loving family, and she would find her mate and have more children with him. And she did find her mate. She was 21 when she met him. A young man by the name of Andrew Matthews. He was three years older than her. They hit if off well right from the start, and were married just six months after meeting. Their first child came two years later — a boy that they named Mikhail James Matthews. Now, Mikhail was almost five years old, and his baby brother or sister was about to come into the world. Neither Niecia or Andrew wanted to know the gender of their child. They wanted it to be a surprise. They were excited either way. She’d gone into labor seven hours ago, but her water hadn’t broken yet. The midwife was considering breaking it to speed up the delivery. Instead of having her child in a hospital, Niecia had decided on a home birth. Mikhail was downstairs with his nanny, awaiting news of his new sibling. Niecia was propped up on the foot of the bed, Andrew behind her for her to lean against. Her hands gripped his as she cried out during a particularly strong contraction. “I need to push!” “Okay, lets break you water, and hopefully the baby will come quicker.” The midwife pulled out a long needle and positioned herself between the laboring mother’s legs. Moments later, there was a rush of clear fluid. “You’re almost 8 centimeters dilated, Niecia. Just a little while longer to go.” While waiting, the midwife got the things together she’d need to deliver this new life into the world. Warm water, blankets and towels, scissors, and several other items. Thirty minutes later she checked on Niecia’s progress again. “Okay, Niecia, you can start pushing. Lets get this baby born.” And she positioned herself to help maneuver the baby into the world. Niecia cried out as she pushed. With each contraction, she pushed as hard as she could. Soon the baby’s head was crowning. She could feel the familiar pressure and tearing as the baby started making its way into the world. Several minutes later, there was the wail of a newborn and the midwife announced the gender, “It’s a girl!” The newborn was wrapped in a blanket and placed on the new mother’s chest. Niecia cried as she held her precious daughter against her chest, and Andrew cut the cord so that it could be tied off. Then he held his wife and daughter, marveling at how perfect the newborn was. “What’re we going to name her?” His voice was soft against his mate’s ear. One hand ran over the tiny. bloody. and gooey head that nestled against his wife’s breast as the newborn continued to wail her displeasure. Niecia was quiet for a moment as she captured one tiny, flailing hand and lifted it to kiss the backs of those red little fingers. “I think we should name her Meaghan.” Bright blue eyes looked up into her mate’s equally bright blue eyes. “Meaghan Riley, after your dad.” A smile played on her pouty lips as she studied him and awaited his reaction to her suggestion. “I think it’s perfect for her.” He smiled and lowered his head to tenderly kiss his wife. His mate. His equal in everything in life — except for childbirth. She was totally the winner there. Then he looked down at the quieting newborn. “She’s got your lungs.” He smiled ruefully and was elbowed lightly in the ribs, as he expected. He grinned as his eyes sparkled, “What? It’s the truth.” Moments later, there was a knock on the door and Mikhail poked his head into the room. “Can I come see the baby? Is it a boy or a girl? What’s his name?” The questions came one on top of the previous in his excitement. Niecia smiled and nodded. “You can come over.” She watched as their son ran over to see the new baby, clambering up onto the bed to get as close as he could. “You have a baby sister. Her name is Meaghan. Meaghan Riley Matthews.” Mikhail’s eyes went wide. He had a baby sister. Carefully leaning over, he kissed the baby’s forehead, his voice just a whisper when he spoke, “Hello Meaghan. I’m your big brother, Mikhail. I’ll take care of you always. I promise.” Then he held out a finger for one of his baby sister’s tiny hands to wrap around. Smiling, Niecia looked up at Andrew. He lowered his head to kiss her again. A soft and tender kiss that promised a future of happiness and love. Their family was complete now. They had the daughter that they knew would inherit the family homestead and holdings. Now they just needed to raise their children into good and honest people. That was where the real challenge lay. Not with birthing them or midnight feedings, but with raising them to be good people. But Andrew and Niecia knew that they were up to that challenge. ————————————— She was six when it happened. The car accident that took her daddy’s life. She was at school. It was just a normal day. A normal Thursday afternoon. She was coloring on a piece of purple construction paper with a black crayon. The principal walked into the room and whispered something to her teacher. Everyone looked up when he entered. It was never good when the principal came into your classroom. It meant that someone was in trouble. When he called Meaghan’s name, the rest of the class “ooooed.” She was in trouble, and she didn’t even know what she’d done. “Bring your backpack, Meaghan.” The class “ooooed” again. She was really in trouble if she wasn’t coming back to her classroom today. With her backpack dangling from her hand, the straps dragging lifelessly along the floor behind her, Meaghan walked down to the office with the principal. She wasn’t sure what she’d done wrong, but tears brimmed in her steel blue eyes. She didn’t dare ask. She was afraid to hear the answer. As they walked into the office, she saw her mom. Her mom was sitting in a chair, and it looked like she was crying. Meaghan ran over to her, dropping her backpack at the doorway, and started speaking quickly, “I’m sorry. I didn’t do whatever you think I did. I promise!” “Meaghan, no…” Her mother started, “You’re not in trouble, baby.” Tears rolled down her mom’s cheeks, and now Meaghan was even more worried. If she wasn’t in trouble, then what was her mom doing here? And why was she crying? The child looked confused, and her mom saw that confusion immediately. Wrapping her arms around her child, she spoke softly and through tears. “Daddy was in a car accident. He didn’t make it.” Meaghan didn’t understand. She was only six years old. The phrase “didn’t make it” meant nothing to her young mind. “We gotta go to the hospital, right?” The question was asked as tears welled up in her blue eyes. She wanted to go see her daddy. “Daddy will be okay when we get there, right?” Hot tears began to roll down her pale cheeks, stinging both her eyes and her skin. Her mom shook her head. “No, baby. Daddy is dead. He didn’t survive the car accident.” Niecia saw the realization hit Meaghan, and she quickly wrapped her arms around the now sobbing six year old. They cried together as Meaghan clung to her mommy and begged for her daddy to come back and pick them up. For a few minutes they just held onto each other, until Niecia was able to pull herself back together. With her daughter in her arms, she got to her feet and cradled her sobbing baby against her chest. Meaghan’s forgotten backpack was picked up as they passed, and Niecia carried her daughter down the silent hallway and towards the front doors of the school. The car was waiting out front. Her mom had already picked up Mikhail, and he was sitting quietly in the car waiting for them. Tears stained his cheeks, as well. Both children slept with their mother that night. Neither of them willing to sleep alone, and Niecia taking comfort from having her kids close to her — lest one of them be taken away, too. The next few days went by quietly, surrounded by family who spoke in hushed tones and only when they thought Mikhail and Meaghan couldn’t hear them. Mikhail did his best to keep his little sister occupied and away from the gathered family. He didn’t want her hearing what they were whispering about their daddy. How they thought he’d been drunk at the time of the accident. And that he was going to see his mistress when it happened. Mikhail didn’t believe any of those rumors, but his extended family obviously did. The funeral was a solemn event. Mikhail dressed in a black suit, while Meaghan wore a simple black dress with matching socks and patent leather shoes. Their mother looked elegant in a simple black, floor length dress that flowed around her feet. She gave an eulogy that dispelled any rumors about her husband being unfaithful, or being a drunk. He’d been hit by a teenager on a cell phone. Pure and simple, it had been an accident. At the gravesite, Meaghan and Mikhail placed flowers on their father’s closed casket. They watched as it was lowered into the ground. They sat for some time, there at the gravesite, because their mom couldn’t bring herself to leave. Several times one family member or another would come over to try and usher them to the waiting limo, but Niecia would brush them off. After what seemed like hours to Meaghan, her mother finally stood up, picked up her daughter, took her son’s hand, and headed back to the limo. They rode home in near silence, only the occasional broken sob from one of the children disturbing the quiet in the back of the limo. ————————————— College was an adventure that Meaghan was looking forward to. Mikhail had left for college five years earlier. He’d finished his degree, gotten a job elsewhere in the country. He didn’t want to live in Maine his whole life. Especially not Port Elizabeth, Maine. And now, Meaghan was getting her chance to leave and see the larger world. She had been accepted to Harvard. She was planning on getting her degree in psychology and psychiatry. She wasn’t interested in seeing patients all day, every day, but she did want to get into research. Help create the medications and therapies that would help people around the world. Although, that didn’t mean that she wasn’t sad to leave her mom and the house behind. Her mom would be alone. No one to keep her company in the big, 150 year old house. Just the ghosts that sometimes made floors creak and lights turn off or on. Niecia took Meaghan to Harvard, or more specifically, the city of Cambridge where Harvard was located. They found an apartment for Meaghan. Her mother helped her furnish it and get it set up for the next six years of education. She even paid the rent for a year so that Meaghan could focus on her studies instead of getting a job. They spent that first night in a new apartment together. Then, the next morning, Niecia kissed her daughter’s forehead and left to catch a plane back home to Maine. It was the first time in her life that Meaghan had been on her own and away from home. She was overwhelmed and suddenly very afraid that she’d made the wrong decision. Her mom had barely been gone an hour when she called to see if they could change the plans. “Meaghan, you’ll do fine and you’ll have so much fun at Harvard. You’ll see, you’ll love it. You just have to give it a chance,” Niecia’s voice was soothing and comforting, but firm. She would not be turning around to bring her daughter back home. Meaghan knew that tone, and it made more tears well up in her eyes. “But what if I don’t want to do this? What if I’d rather go to community college or something?” Niecia wanted Meaghan to come home as badly as Meaghan wanted to come home, but she knew that it wouldn’t be good for either of them to give in. Her youngest had to learn to stand on her own two feet. She had to learn that she could take care of herself. “No, Meaghan. You’re going to stay and start classes on Monday. You’re going to make so many friends and have so many fun experiences. You’d wither and die if you came home with me. There’s nothing in Port Elizabeth for you right now.” Her voice took on a lighter note then, as she tried to encourage her daughter to stay where she was, “Now, go get to know your neighborhood and introduce yourself to a few people. You’ll feel so much better.” After getting off the phone, Meaghan did go out into her neighborhood. She went for a walk, introduced herself to a few people, and felt much better about her decision to go to school at Harvard. Her first day of classes were overwhelming, but in such a good way. That night, she called her mom to tell her all about it. That would become the nightly ritual. Every night, before bed, Meaghan would call her mom and tell her all about the day she’d had. Niecia looked forward to those nightly calls from her daughter. They gave her an hour every night of hearing her youngest’s voice, and knowing that she was okay. She dreaded the day that Meaghan would decide she didn’t need to call home every night. ————————————— Five years into her education and Meaghan decided to take a semester abroad. She’d get to spend one semester in Oxford, studying psychology with some of the best minds in the whole world. She was halfway through her semester when she met him. Her mate. The man that she was meant to spend the rest of her life with. She didn’t realize it immediately. He was just some guy that she was talking to over supper. A supper that they shared because their friends were busy skateboarding and doing bike tricks nearby. It was just a random meeting. But that’s what they call kismet, right? Destiny? They talked for hours. First about Stephen King (because she came from “Stephen King land”). Their conversation evolved from there, and Meaghan found herself becoming more charmed by Kyle by the moment. She found out that he was from Chicago, and that he would be studying in Oxford for a summer and semester longer than her. It was a disappointing turn of events, but she had hope that they would come together again. Or that, maybe, one of their plans would change. Maybe she could stay in Oxford longer? Or maybe he could transfer to Harvard? She wasn’t sure, but even after one evening of knowing Kyle, she was willing to consider the different possibilities open to her. Meaghan called her mom that evening, after getting back to her dorm for the night, and told her all about Kyle. “I think he’s the one, Mama. I think he’s my mate.” “How sure are you about that?” Her mother asked as she held her breath. She wanted nothing more for her children than for them to be happy and healthy, for them to know love and to be loved, but at the same time, she didn’t want either of her children to rush into a relationship they weren’t sure about. There was a deep breath from Meaghan as she considered how she felt and what she wanted to say. “I’m sure he’s the one, Mama. I can feel it. Inside me. I can feel it.” She was excited, but also scared. She’d never dated anyone before. Never been with anyone before. And now, all she could think about was getting as close to Kyle as she possibly could. There was a smile in Niecia’s voice when she spoke, a smile that played on her pouty lips even though her daughter couldn’t see it. “Then you’ve found him. Now you just have to trust that your paths in life will keep you together.” “But he’s staying here for an extra summer and semester longer than me… And then he’s going back to Princeton. I won’t be able to see him at all.” Her next words came in a rush. “I’m thinking of extending my time here in Oxford and transferring my program…” “Meaghan! Slow down…” Niecia took a breath and then another. Forcing her daughter to do so with her. Then she spoke again. “You’ve got a couple months to get to know this boy. So do that. Get to know him. Then, when you get closer to the end of your semester, decide *with him* what you want to do next. Don’t go rushing into it right now. You need a chance to get to know each other.” Her voice softened again, and that smile returned to her voice and it took on an affectionate tone. “Now, are you going to tell me what this boy’s name is?” They talked for another hour about Kyle and Oxford in general. Niecia got her daughter to talk about what she wanted to do after Oxford (without mention of Kyle), and what she was hoping to do for her doctoral program. They talked about Mikhail and what he was up to out in California, and they reminisced about the times the three of them had together. It was a good conversation, and Niecia hoped that they’d have many more conversations like this in the days, months, and years to come. She was looking forward to meeting this boy that her daughter said was her mate. Neither of them could know that she’d never get that chance. That a car accident would take her life before Meaghan even got back from Oxford. But it was a good evening. One that would forever stay with Meaghan.
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