Three + One = Six — November 21, 2021 Today has been an interesting day. Some things happened that should have been handled differently. Although I think the ultimate outcome would have been the same. But yeah, it should have been handled in a very different fashion. Today our family expanded — unofficially — by one more. Her name is Jaden, and she’s 15 years old. She’s kin, but not the kind that we would typically expect to run into. She was born to Black Spiral Dancers, and raised by them. Although, somehow, she managed to avoid becoming twisted and corrupt. They probably would have killed her if she hadn’t escaped. She’s just too pure for them. They tried really hard to corrupt her. You can tell from the damage to her body. She looks like she’s about 12 years old. She’s so small and malnourished. At 15 years old, she weighs barely 60lbs, and that’s after gaining weight at the clinic for a month. But none of that says how we found out about her, or how she came into our lives. Sara called tonight to talk to me. She was working at the clinic, and she said she had a child who desperately needed a family. She told me the kid was 15 and White Howler kin. She didn’t say a whole lot more than that. Just that she thought that Jimmy and me would be a good fit. It wasn’t until we got to the clinic that we found out about her medical status. About how malnourished she is. About the problems with her heart, and her being on the verge of cardiac arrest. She also had a tumor on the right side of her brain. She was too weak to have the surgery needed to get rid of the tumor. Sara said she probably wouldn’t survive if they put her under. Jimmy was angry when we found out all of this after getting to the clinic. He thought Sara should have filled us in together over the phone first. That way we could have made decisions in a less high intensity situation. We didn’t find out why Sara didn’t take that route, but I imagine it was because she knew we’d be less likely to say yes. When Sara introduced us to Jaden, my first thought was that the child looked like a pre-teen. And I was concerned about how much corruption or taint she could have on her soul. She let me hold her hand, and I was able to use my Angelic abilities to suss out that she’s completely free of corruption and taint. There’s just a lot of very understandable fear and anxiety in her. More than one tiny body should be able to hold. We talked to Jaden for a little while before inviting her home with us. She agreed, and Jimmy carried her back to the house. Daddy was there babysitting the rest of the kids when we came in with Jaden. I pulled him away to the kitchen so that we could have a discussion about healing the kid. Ultimately, Daddy did heal Jaden, but he wasn’t happy with me for asking him to do it. I knew I shouldn’t have asked. But I also knew that this kid deserved to have a good life finally. Daddy was able to heal her heart, the brain tumor, and all the pain she was in from years upon years of abuse. Afterwards, she took a deep breath and you could tell by looking at her that it was the first breath she’d ever taken that didn’t profoundly hurt. That broke my heart. So, tonight I got Jaden into a pair of my pajamas before bed. I’m the smallest one in the house other than Knox, and he’s too small to share clothes with Jaden. Even my clothes were huge on her, and my clothes are all XS. Tomorrow I’m gonna go out shopping for her and get her some actual clothes and shoes. She doesn’t have anything. She’s live in the clinic for the last month, wearing hospital pjs and that’s about it. So I’m gonna get some ideas of the types of clothes she likes, and then go out shopping for her. She’s too weak to come with me and so she can pick out her own clothes. Her heart wouldn’t give out now, but she doesn’t have the stamina to go from store to store, and back and forth from the car. Sara gave us a walker for her so that she can get around the house a little easier, but outside the house will have to wait until she’s got some strength back in her body. But this evening was the start of our family of six. Four kids and two adults in our house now. Poor Jimmy and Knox are horribly outnumbered by the estrogen in the house. Now we wait and see how Jaden connects with our family to see if we’ll adopt or not. I hope we’re a good fit for her. But, if we’re not, then we’ll find the right family for her. We’re not gonna let her get lost. Not now that she’s finally safe. Merry Christmas & Happy New Year — January 10, 2022 So, as is usual for my family, Jimmy and me took the kids to Greece for Christmas 2021. We were planning on being there from the 23rd until the 26th. A couple days before we were supposed to leave, Granddad got mad at Daddy and Lucifer and turned them into toddlers. So Chloe had a toddler Lucifer to contend with, and Jimmy and me had to take a toddler Daddy to Greece with us. We passed him off as a nephew so that no one would know what actually happened. Everything was going relatively well while we were there. Jaden was a bit overwhelmed with all the family around, but she was handling it pretty well. Shi and me kinda cocooned her so that she was never alone with scores of kids and cousins. All was well until the 26th. Remy wanted to take Shi and me out for coffee before we left. We agreed to go, and Jimmy insisted on keeping Anaca with him so that Shi and me could properly enjoy our afternoon with Remy. That was something that I will be forever grateful to Jimmy for. Things would have been so much worse if Anaca had been with us. Shi and me were just having coffee when a group of Furies came out of nowhere and escorted us out of the cafe. Shi was obviously terrified of what was happening, but she didn’t know what to do. I knew as soon as the Furies appeared what was going to happen. Once we got outside and off a public street, I let my Righteous Fury take hold and unfurled my wings. I shouted at Shi to get back to the house and tell Grandad that I needed help. Shi was really reluctant to leave me. She didn’t want to abandon me to whatever the Furies were going to do. I was fighting off a pack of Garou as I yelled at Shi again to go and get help. She could see that I wasn’t going to last much longer, so she unfurled her wings and took to the sky to go get Jimmy and Daddy. I managed to hold the Furies off until Shi was well clear of them and then they overwhelmed me shortly after that. I was knocked out, tossed in the back of a panel van, and chained down so that I couldn’t escape. That was the start of two days of hell for me. The Furies knew that Daddy would send the host to rescue me. So they kept the panel van to highly populated areas where they could use people and my safety to their best advantage. They also had another Nephilim in the van to help them. I’m not sure who his parentage is, but like most Nephilim, he’s sterile. By all rights, I should have been sterile, too. I’m Nephilim. But I was genetically engineered to be very fertile. The Furies used that to their advantage. The first thing they did once they’d secured me in the van was wipe out my birth control so that they could get me pregnant. Then they let three kin, all three with strong lines, take turns raping me for the next 48 hours. I’m not going into details. But between the Nephilim helping them, the populous places they kept to, and the threat to my life, it took a while for the Host to rescue me safely. Once I was rescued, Jimmy and Daddy got me back to the Wingrider community in Malibu. The first thing I did when we got to Malibu was go see Sara. She put me on a biobed and discovered right away that I was newly pregnant. I’m very much pro-life, but even I make exceptions for rape and incest. I absolutely refused to carry my rapists’ baby to term. I asked Sara for an abortion and a D&C to clear out any possibility of getting pregnant with a slow swimmer or something. Sara agreed to my extreme request and I was put under for the procedure. I went home later that day to my very worried family. Since then, I’ve been in therapy twice a week and dealing with everything from nightmares to panic attacks. Edan has been a life saver with prescribing meds for my needs. They don’t wipe out all the unpleasant after effects of having been kidnapped and repeatedly gang raped, but they do help a great deal. I’m managing to process and deal with everything. I’m not sure if it was me being kidnapped that made Daddy go to hell, or if he was just tired of being a three year old, but Daddy snuck off one evening to go to hell and “grow up” again. I would have liked to have beaten him for that stunt, because his soul is already damaged from the fight him and Lucifer got into before The Fall. But he did it, and he got back to himself again. Since then, he’s been sticking pretty close and keeping an eye on me. He says I get into too much trouble to be left unsupervised. I don’t think that’s true, but I’m glad to have him close. He just spent the better part of the day and evening with us yesterday after Jaden broke her nose skateboarding. There was blood everywhere when she came home, and we were pretty sure Gin would show up wondering why we were beating our child bloody. She’s been pissed at me for reasons unknown to me since before Anaca was born. And she’s been trying to make my life difficult since then. Daddy had me invite her over to have a conversation about why she’s been so pissed at me. The short answer? Because I chose Daddy at some point about 40 years ago instead of her. I don’t remember making the decision. It was made before I was born. Apparently my life has been reset by Uncle Raph at least once. But when he reset my life, I’d chosen Daddy instead of Gin, and that pissed her off. She asked me to reset my life again and choose her, but I said no. I don’t trust her to have my best interests at heart. That pissed her off and she stormed off. So I guess my family just got smaller by 5 people. But that’s okay. I don’t need that kind of drama in my life. There’s enough going on already without adding to it. But at least now I know why she’s pissed at me. So there is that. Answers are better than questions most of the time… I think. Officially A Family of Six — January 16, 2022 This afternoon Jimmy and me officially adopted Jaden. There was an adoption ceremony with our closest friends and family (plus Jaden’s “girlfriend” Avalon Creed), and we had a small party afterwards. It was a good day. Jaden is thrilled to have a good family that doesn’t hurt her. It’s not a very high bar, but I know we haven’t had any problems stepping over it. Jaden is a good kid. Very sweet and very smart. Even if she’s got the coordination of a sleepy hedgehog. Last weekend she broke her nose skateboarding with Lily and Shi. Apparently this weekend she broke her arm while skateboarding. The kids were all staying with Jimmy’s parents this weekend, so they took her to the clinic to get her arm set and healed. We found out about it after the fact. It wasn’t a horrible break or anything. Jimmy’s parents were more concerned with getting Jaden to the clinic quickly than calling us. So they called us immediately after they got back to their house with her. I’m tempted to tell Jaden no more skateboarding. But, despite the painful breaks, she’s seeming to enjoy doing something with Shi that isn’t watching Cats. I’m hesitant to take that away from them because they’re forging a bond together. Shi seems to enjoy poking fun at Jaden for being so accident prone. Jaden takes it well. Jaden asked if she could invite Avalon over for her adoption ceremony and party. They met at the park this summer. I guess they’ve been hanging out some on the weekends when Jaden and Shi are out skateboarding and doing teen stuff with their friends. I wasn’t very keen on the idea of Avalon coming over. She’s 22 years old, and much too old for Jaden. She’s not even 16 yet. But Jimmy agreed to let her come over so that we could pull her aside and talk to her. Jaden wasn’t very happy when she saw us pull Avalon aside, but we got Chloe to distract her while we talked to Avalon. For her part, Avalon says she’s not interested in anything sexual with Jaden at this point. She’s just enjoying spending time with her and getting to know her. She says she’s enjoying watching Jaden grow as a person. I should probably mention that Avalon is a Fallen Angel and also kin. I’m not sure which tribe she’s from, but she is kin. According to her, Jaden is the one she Fell for. In essence, that means we can’t separate them. They’re soulmates and will be together forever. It also means that Jaden is some sort of immortal. We don’t know which kind yet, which leads me to think that she may be Fallen. Caleb hasn’t come up with anything in her bloodwork that would tell us she’s anything more than kin. I’m strongly leaning towards the idea that she’s Fallen. Which then means that Jaden Fell for Avalon. They probably Fell together to be together. But I still don’t like Avalon “dating” Jaden at this stage. Jaden is 15 years old. She’s got zero experience with the world and would be very easy to manipulate. I refuse to see that happen to her. I know Jimmy does, too. We may have only had her for a few months at this point, but she’s our daughter. We love and care for her. We wouldn’t have adopted her otherwise. So we’re both being very protective about this whole Avalon thing. All of this with Jaden comes the night after a slumber party at Chloe and Lucifer’s because of a tsunami warning. Saturday evening Jimmy and me were hanging out with Chloe and Lucifer at our house. All the kids were, as I mentioned, with Jimmy’s parents. Our phones all went off with a tsunami warning. They were expecting 3 foot waves, which isn’t bad. It’s on the low end, just high enough for a warning, but our house is right on the beach. Like, literally, our back yard is sand and only yards away from the ocean at high tide. So Daddy called immediately after the warning to find out what our plan was. Chloe invited us over to her and Lucifer’s house, so we took them up on it. The girls came running home convinced our house was going to be washed into the ocean. We assured them that all would be fine, we just needed to take precautions in case our house got a bit of water in it. So we had the girls pack an overnight bag, Jimmy and me packed bags for ourselves, Knox, and Anaca, and then we headed over to Chloe and Lucifer’s house. Daddy met us there with Knox and Anaca. I’m not sure what Shi showed Jaden and Knox before they went to bed, but both of them were in hysterics during the night because they didn’t want to loose the house. Jimmy and me didn’t get much sleep Saturday night. And the kids were anxious to get home Sunday morning. We made it home to a perfectly dry house. Jaden and Knox were so confused. I think they were expecting mass destruction. Which leads me to believe that Shi showed them videos from the Indonesia tsunami. I really wanted to thump Shi for that. She scared her sister and brother for no reason. But I was just glad that our Sunday was gonna go off without a hitch. Chloe and Lucifer came over with Trixie in the afternoon, we had Jaden’s adoption ceremony and party, and then a quiet evening. I’m hoping that I sleep well tonight. It’s been a helluva weekend. And on that note, it’s time for bed. Jimmy is kissing my neck, so maybe not sleep, but bed. To Hell And Back — April 8, 2022 Almost a month ago now, I was kidnapped by Sandalphon and taken to hell. He’s been stalking me my whole life. It wasn’t a question of “if” I’d been attacked one day, but rather “when.” Daddy did everything he could to protect me throughout my life. It worked. I was never attacked by Sandalphon and he stayed hidden. Then Mama was brought back from the dead, and everything got more real. There was more at stake and more temptation. Daddy and Mama made me promise not to go anywhere without an Angelic escort. Either Daddy or Lucifer and Maze. Daddy promised that the Host was looking for Sandalphon and that they’d find him. Then it would be safe for me to leave on my own again. But, everyone who knows me, knows that I’m not very patient. I got frustrated one night and left on my own. I don’t remember now why I was leaving or where I was going, but I left alone and was immediately snatched by Sandalphon. I knew immediately it was him, and I called out to Daddy and Lucifer for help. But Sandalphon got me to hell before Daddy and Lucifer could stop him. He cast me to the demons and then went to face his brothers. From what I understand, I was only gone for about an hour. But, an hour in hell is actually more like 20 years. I spent 20 years being tortured by demons before Daddy and Lucifer were able to find me and rescue me. I was brought back home to Jimmy, but I was horribly broken. I’d gone from about 105lbs down to only 70lbs in that “hour” I was gone. My wings had been torn off, and I was battered and beaten to shit. There wasn’t really a whole lot that Sara could do for me once I was brought to the clinic. She healed my physical wounds, which was a help, but she couldn’t magically put the weight I’d lost back on me. And she couldn’t heal the mental damage from 20 years of torture. For those things, all she was able to do was give me extra high calorie shakes and meds for nightmares. The rest was going to have to be up to me. Thankfully, I’ve got the best support system in the world… It’s always been incredibly hard for me to put weight on. I lose it easily, but I have a hard time keeping it. I eat like a house on fire, but I’ve always had a super fast metabolism. It’s why I spent three months in the NICU when I was born, when I really only should have been there a couple weeks. After two weeks of struggling to only put on about a pound and a half, I went to Caleb and asked for his help. He offered a procedure that we could do over a weekend int he clinic. It would help my body absorb calories better and slow down my metabolism a bit. So Jimmy and me sent the kids to my parents for the weekend and we spent the weekend in Calgary with Caleb. It’s been about a week since the procedure, and so far I’ve gained about five pounds. It’s not as much as Caleb was hoping for, but it’s definitely better than what I was managing on my own. Another seven weeks or so and I should be back to where I was before I was cast into hell. If only the mental damage were as easy to heal. I’ve been seeing Edan three times a week for the past month. I’m on strong meds to help me sleep and not have so many nightmares. They can’t stop the dreams entirely, because that’s not restful sleep or helpful for me to heal, but the meds are helping with some of the nightmares. Edan is helping me learn to take one thing at a time, and how to slow down. I’m trying to focus on healing my relationship with Jimmy. I damaged it horribly before ending up in hell. I don’t remember what I did, or why I did it. My memories from before hell are really muddled. They’re really distant. Twenty years is a long time. But I’m trying to be a better person for Jimmy. So that our relationship heals and is stronger than before. It takes time and effort, though. I’m learning to slow down. One challenge at a time instead of all of them at once. It’s really hard. I don’t feel like I’m doing enough. I feel like I’m seriously slacking all the time. But, at the same time, I don’t have the energy to do more. I don’t have the ability to do more than what I’m doing right now. Which is basically just sleeping a lot, eating when food is present, and keeping up with the kids. Shi has been a huge help with Jaden. She’s such a good kid. A good sister to her siblings. I’m so proud of her. She must get that from Jimmy. But one thing at a time. I have all the time in the world, or so everyone keeps telling me. I guess I have to use it now.